


Smile Like A Paper Cut - The DVD Extras

by J_Baillier



Series: Smile Like A Paper Cut [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Addiction, Alternate Universe - Serial Killers, Angst, Behind the Scenes, Case Fic, Developing Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grieving John, Injured Sherlock, John Loves Sherlock, Johnlock Angst, M/M, Sad John, Sad Sherlock, Scotland Yard, Serial Killers, Sherlock Being Sherlock, Sherlock Is Not Okay, Sociopathy, author's notes, criminology, forensic science, not exactly darkfic, psychopathy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-01-25
Packaged: 2018-05-16 04:38:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5814475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/J_Baillier/pseuds/J_Baillier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Many serial killers are capable of leading outwardly normal lives, hiding in plain sight as husbands, wives, scout leaders, doctors, policemen, soldiers and employers.</p><p>What if Sherlock is one of them? And what if John discovers his secret?</p><p>_________________________________________________________________</p><p>A behind-the-scenes look at the AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Behind the scenes

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome ye who have enjoyed the story. If you've not read it yet, I suggest you do that first, because these notes contain more spoilers than you can shake a stick at.
> 
> The story can be found [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5653597?view_full_work=true).
> 
> Part/chapter 1 contains some notes on how I pulled this off. Part/chapter 2 is a collection of questions I've received via the comments section, email etc with answers. Part/chapter 3 is a full soundtrack listing for the inspirational music I've used. 
> 
> I love the internet - no one can tell me I'm not allowed to create these kinds of megalomaniac Author's Notes. *laughs*

**_Profiling Sherlock Holmes - Behind the scenes of "Smile Like A Paper Cut"_ ******

> _"One day we'll be standing around a body and Sherlock Holmes will be the one that put it there."_  
>  \- Detective Sergeant Sally Donovan in " _A Study In Pink_ " 

These haunting words were the starting point for this story. Another major push for me to begin planning this are the brilliant Dexter episodes "Are you....?" and "Sunshine and Frosty Swirl". 

This is my longest work in the fandom, and by far the most challenging to write for several reasons. Balancing between a serial killer terrifying enough, but not too off-putting to make readers lose all sympathy for Sherlock, felt akin to walking a tightrope. The question, "What would John do if and when he found out?" proved very difficult to answer. Creating a prominent OC is quite stressful (I will discuss the need for such an OC later). A story as long as this (even though it doesn't even begin to rival the longest pieces in this fandom) is always a challenge to structure. I hope the end result delivers what you, my dear reader, came here seeking for.

What if Sherlock truly was the sociopath he claims to be? In the TV series, we slowly see his self-professed pathology crumble, making way for the softer, more vulnerable detective we see in series three. When planning this story I realized that I had to backtrack from that, and let some extra darkness in. Thanks to Moffatt and Gatiss, I only had to exaggerate certain characteristics of season 1 Sherlock to reach the character depicted in this story. We see John tick the boxes of the psychopathy checklist with ease when he begins researching what he has now learned he's dealing with.

I've always been fascinated by serial killers. Not so much for the gruesome details of their crimes, but for the fact that these people did not live in a vacuum prior to being caught.  
Dennis Rader (BTK), Gary Ridgway (The Green River Killer) and many others had wives, children and loved ones; they were Boy Scout leaders, good neighbours and valued friends. The mask of normality that psychopaths are capable of creating is perhaps the most frightening part of their psychopathology. 

Where do these killers come from? After all I've read on the subject, I believe that the end product of a serial killer is the result of a) genetic disposition to incapability for empathy, b) lack of protective and nurturing factors in childhood and youth, which might have steered the person towards a path in which they could've channeled their psychopathy into some other hobby or profession and c) a trigger which links violence and/or death with sexual gratification in the person's mind. 

I don't think porn, sexual abuse or other similar things can make anyone a serial killer without a neurobiological inclination being there in the first place. Opportunity, extreme stress or financial gain might lead to a singular murder, but nothing like the works of Ted Bundy, Dennis Rader or Ian Brady. To be a truly terrifying serial killer, you have to do what you do because you want to. Because you enjoy it. Because nothing else compares to that feeling.

The sexual component of serial murder was a difficult one to tackle in this story. I skirt the edges of the subject, and in some parts of the story the sensations that killing provides Sherlock are briefly discussed. There is an ambiguously sexual component to taking a life that is vaguely described at certain points, but in terms of readers not being completely abhorred I needed to walk a tightrope of modern criminal psychology but sticking to a serial killer archetype that did not derive pleasure from sexual violence on living victims. Balancing between a sympathetic Sherlock, the one we know and love, and between a chilling serial killer was no picnic and even the Dexter tv series sort of shies away from the issue of sexuality. 

> _"No more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was undone"_  
>  \- Florence Welch

That brings us to the subject of 'death fetishism'. It is not an official criminal forensic term but a description of a serial killer's focus on the act of killing itself. Out of commonly accepted serial killer types I categorized Sherlock as a power/control oriented one, on which I partly based his selection of victims. I didn't use any single serial killer as a model for Sherlock. There is a parallel to be found in Ted Bundy's piercing charisma and the victim demographics of Dennis Nilsen. There is also quite a bit of classic Jack the Ripper in his modus operandi - quick kills with sharp objects and body parts as trophies.

This is the first time an original character has taken such a prominent role in my Sherlock stories. The need for him was clear from the start. When we look at Sherlock, we are wearing the favourable goggles of three seasons' worth of rooting for him. In a way, we see the image of him that John's fondness frames. I realized early on during planning this story that I had to strip all that off. Enter Julian Barrisi - impatient, young, smart gunner of a wannabe-murder detective, recently hired to New Scotland Yard. He is academically educated and has received extensive training in forensic psychiatry in the US. Through his eyes we get to witness Sherlock in all his creepy glory. Altogether, in profiling Sherlock Holmes the serial killer, I needed to add very little to the picture painted in the tv series. As illustrated by Julian Barrisi's thoughts, when shown without the sympathetic mirror that John provides, he can be quite an unnerving and creepy individual. Cunning and manipulative, he meddles into police work and likes asserting his superiority. Many serial killers can't resist communicating with the police and inserting themselves into the investigation. Sherlock is already there - he works as a police consultant! He lacks empathy and can be cruel and spiteful. Still, in the story we don't actually see Sherlock commit any of these crimes. I felt that was important in terms of retaining at least some sympathy for him in the readers' minds.

38 victims is excessive, but would Sherlock ever do anything by halves? I didn't think so either.

Accounts of what it's like to live close to these individuals are scarce. Understandably not many people wish to associate themselves with a serial murderer once they've been caught and the secret is revealed. It's incredibly hard to imagine what it would be like to live through a moment in which a loved one was revealed to be such a killer. In this respect, the books "Stranger Beside Me" by Ann Rule (once a friend of Ted Bundy's) and "A Father's Story" by Lionel Dahmer (whose son, Jeffrey Dahmer surely competes for the title of the most terrifying serial killer of all time, at least in my books) proved indispensable research material. Watching Jennifer Carpenter's brilliant work in "Dexter" was a great help as well.

> _"Give me the strength to be heartless and brave."_  
>  \- Phildel 

It was rather intimidating to think that I needed to create an original character who would be smart enough to catch Sherlock Holmes. In the end, I didn't have to. I solved the problem by creating a plotline in which Julian's skills, forensic evidence, bad luck, a mistake on Sherlock's part and John's observant nature converged into a downward spiral into doom, instead of just Julian's brilliant deductions leading to Sherlock's downfall. It was always clear to me that John wouldn't just ring Lestrade and tell him to cuff his flatmate slash best friend slash 'it's complicated' up. John was going to be what cracked the case, but it had to be because of complex reasons and Sherlock's own input, not just because he'd suddenly remembered he had a moral compass.

I had never planned on giving Sherlock himself a very prominent voice in the story. He surprised even me, when paragraphs from him in 1st person just began flowing out one afternoon. Technically, using his voice made some things easier - I could skip a big chunk of explaining details through other characters' slow discoveries. It also solved an emotional dilemma - I felt that John and Sherlock's relationship didn't have as prominent a role in the ending as I'd hoped.

This was always going to be a love story. A desperate one. As several readers pointed out, in many ways John is Sherlock's 39th victim. The quotes from Judith Mawson (who was The Green River Killer's happy wife for more than a decade while he destroyed lives) are genuine ones. Right from the start, John has been the one to see, truly see Sherlock, to not let the man's negative personality traits overshadow his positive ones. In this story John struggles with negotiating the two Sherlocks - the one he knows and adores, and the other one with huge secrets even from John and clearly no regard for human life. Some people stick with their loved ones even after they're unmasked as serial killers. I never had any doubts that John would be one of these people. Life gets in the way of them ever embarking on a proper romance, but I hope I've managed to convey the importance of John to Sherlock and the depth of John's devotion.

As always with my longer pieces, I used a soundtrack for inspiration. A friend recommended Phildel to me, and her album "The Disappearance of The Girl" created a perfect atmosphere for the more emotional scenes. The real theme songs for the story are, however, Snow Ghosts' "And The World Was Gone" and "The Hunted" along with Port Noir's "Heathens". A full soundtrack listing can be found in part/chapter 3.

The title of the story comes from the Snow Ghosts song "Gallows Strung": _You said my name but the devil came / With her black eyes and paper cut smile_. There's another line in the song that's I think fits this story hauntingly well: _You asked me silently, to keep your secrets close to me._

 

The main research material I used in terms of books:  
Robert Keppel: Signature Killers  
John E. Douglas: Mindhunter  
Roy Hazelwood: Dark Dreams  
Ann Rule: The Stranger Beside Me  
Lionel Dahmer: A Father's Story

Various online resource that made an appearance as background material or modified quotes:  


http://www.bestcounselingdegrees.net/serial-killer/  
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serial_killer  
http://serialmurderers.tumblr.com/post/36462493526/powercontrol-oriented-serial-killer-this-type-of  
https://www.fbi.gov/stats-services/publications/serial-murder/serial-murder-july-2008-pdf  
http://disturbinghorror.com/Serial-Killers/Serial-Killer-psychology.html


	2. Q&A

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Assorted question I've received through email, the comments section etc. More questions and their answers will be added later.

Q: The list of sociopathy symptoms & how they show up in Sherlock's behavior gave me shivers. Is that a real list or something you came up with for the fic?  
A: There are several versions of the checklist available - if I remember correctly the first one was developed by Robert Hare. There's even a version available on Wikipedia, which is the one I used as a reference here :) So yes, it's a real list - frightening how well it describes Sherlock, isn't it?

Q: How can John reconcile his Hippocratic Oath with Sherlock's behavior?  
A: He certainly has trouble doing that. At times he is horrified at himself for even considering choosing Sherlock over "the rest of humanity". I think deep down he may have been a little relieved in the way that things turned out, but he lost so much in the process that it's not much of a consolation.

Q: Could Sherlock have ever killed John?  
A: In my opinion, no. Definitely not. He chose to go down instead of allowing John to be implicated.

Q: Do you watch Criminal Minds?  
A: On occasion. My all-time favorite serial killer -centric dramas have been Dexter, The Fall, the original Swedish/Danish version of The Bridge and Hannibal.

Q: Are you Stephen King?  
A: *rotfl* I wish.

Q: Where did the name 'Baker Street Dissector' come from?  
A: 'Baker Street Butcher' would have rhymed better, but that title has already been used in at least two stories in this fandom. 'The Anatomist' was my second option, but that has already been utilized as the nickname of a serial killer in this fandom. Alas, I had to seek more outlandish alternatives. I came up with the nickname after racking my brain about the fact that Sherlock experimented on his victims by cutting out body parts.

Q: Have there ever been close family members of serial killers who have found out but have chosen not to give that person up?  
A: Certainly there are serial killers who have lived with people who were aware of what was going on when the murders were happening - mostly spouses, whose roles in the murders themselves often remain murky and unproven even after lengthy court trials. I don't think, however, that I've come across a scenario in which a family member found out after everything had transpired and decided to stay silent. Wives who haven't known anything usually seem to have found out at the time of the arrest.

Q: Who is Shipman?  
A: Harold Shipman was a British GP who turned out to be a serial killer. It's likely he had more than 250 victims.

Q: Mycroft seems like an even creepier guy in this story than Sherlock. Explain.  
A: The Mycroft issue has actually puzzled me as well - he is quite a frightening chap in this story indeed! Perhaps he recognized this addiction of Sherlock's as one that he would have no hope in trying to control, and out of bad options he chose the one that kept his little brother out of prison? Even Sherlock himself scorns Mycroft's strange psychopathological theories in chapter 17 X-) Maybe he just wanted to believe that there was a place in the world for Sherlock. Or maybe he is the worse of the two of them but just chose to channel his psychopathy into politics instead of homicide? Looks like I have more theories than answers to offer!

Q: I don't usually like darkfic. Might I enjoy this story?  
A: It depends on what usually puts you off. Certainly this story contains extremely violent imagery and disturbing themes, but the underlying glorification of violence and gore present in a lot of darkfic is absent. Also, I've tried to stick as close to canonical characterization as is possible within this concept instead of making Sherlock a completely emotionless killing machine without any ability for emotional attachment.

Q: I usually dislike original characters in fic but Julian was very enjoyable. Why did you feel like you needed an original character?  
A: I needed a fresh pair of eyes who would see Sherlock "as is". The regular Yarders, even the ones who are not Sherlock fans, have gotten used to his antics and they've probably reasoned that if John likes Sherlock then he can't be all bad. I also needed a character more inclined to modern forensic psychology than the traditionalist murder cop approach, which in my view Lestrade represents.

Q: Why are Julian and Sherlock's parts in 1st person but not John's?  
A: John represents normality, sanity and common sense while Sherlock and Julian are wading neck-deep in a world that normality abandoned long ago. They're not afraid to face the Abyss, whereas John is in shock and continues to struggle with the facts. I used the 3rd person view to try and illustrate this difference and sort of give John a bit of protective emotional distance to what was happening.

Q: Which serial killers is Sherlock modeled after?  
A: This is a tough one. I discuss this with a little more detail in chapter/part 1 of this DVD extras thingy, but the short answer would be that his outward persona is mostly the Sherlock we see in the series, but perhaps there is some added flavor from Ted Bundy. His MO is mostly Jack The Ripper's. His victimology resembles to some extent that of Jack's modern British colleague Dennis Nilsen.

Q: Why are all the victims men?  
A: Serial killers often express their sexual orientation in their victimology (and when Mycroft and John are discussing Sherlock, Mycroft sort of lets this slip). There's also a certain 'because he can' -sort of arrogance to his victim selection plus the fact that Sherlock himself mentions in chapter 17: young, fit men are likely to survive the drugs he administers to render them helpless.

Q: Who would play Julian if this was an actual episode?  
A: Jamie Bell.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've created a [Youtube playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL7Qnlx_ZUABX4H7eA1auJkrbZVMwcWOwQ) of the highlights.

(album) _A Small Murmuration_ by Snow Ghosts  
(the album contains many fantastic songs, including what was definitely The Theme Song of this fic, [_And The World Was Gone_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMhfJS8HBKM)  
_[Cannibals](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgx685CpDyw)_ by Kyla La Grange  
_[Heathens](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSzpzI_rLUY)_ by Port Noir  
(album) _The Disappearance of The Girl_ by Phildel  
_Celestial_ by Phildel  
_Porcelain_ by Phildel  
_[The Water](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3Oi233dBQ8)_ by Hurts  
_In This Void_ by Port Noir  
_Never Is A Promise_ by Fiona Apple  
_[No Death](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYtvkoqTnSs)_ by Mirel Wagner  
_[Spring Haze](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2PjPYH2l1s)_ by Tori Amos  
_Bliss_ by Tori Amos  
_Here. In My Head_ by Tori Amos  
_Feel So Different_ by Sinead O'Connor  
_[Blinding](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Da6bBKLPEGg)_ by Florence + The Machine  
_[My Body Is A Cage](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pyp34v6Lmcc)_ by Arcade Fire  
_[All The Things Lost](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKYGp6Pt2Dw)_ by MS MR (if there was an end credits song it would be this one)  



End file.
